Who you calling chicken?

Mack, the girl kitty next door, has new pets. They look kind of funny.  Like birds, but they're bigger than the ones I usually catch (I am quite the killer, you know). And they can't seem to fly. But don't know if that's because they are in a cage and don't have enough room to fly, or because they are too heavy.

The new pets. Picture by Fleur de Bruin

Even though they are in a cage, Mack seems to be terrified of them. Which puzzles me. Why get pets that scare you? She barely comes into the garden anymore, and when she does, she hops onto the picknick table and stays put. Doesn't dare come down again, unless it is to go back inside. Too bad for me, because this makes it harder for me to sneak into her house and eat all her food, without being seen.

Of course, Mack is a real wuss. Not nearly as tough or big as I am. I am not scared of those new pets at all! And I'll prove it. I'll prove it to her and all my other friends. Especially to Woezel, my adopted big sister (God, she's annoying).

This week, Mack's owners are gone, and my owners have been asked to take care of Mack and those new feathery things. The purrfect opportunity for me to go into Mack's garden and check out the new residents.

Open Sesame!

Me on my 'rock'

As I am lying around on my pride rock, overseeing my territory and Mack's garden, I see my owner stepping out into Macks garden. She walks around a bit, talks to Mack and then, oh yes! She opens the cage of the strange birds! This is my chance to confirm my killer status!

 

I get up, and walk to the hole in the fence. I squeeze through it, and lovingly meow to my owner. "Hello boss, fancy meeting you here." Not really, of course, but hey, little does she know! She talks back to me, pets me, and starts changing the water in the cage. "Ozzy, be nice to the chickens! Don't try to catch them!" She says, and goes inside to the tap. Don't try to catch the chickens?! The whole point of me being here is to catch those darn feathery chickens! I bet they taste delicious. I could use a snack.

 

So, with my owner out of sight, I take my position. In the bushes, just a few feet away from the birds. And I wait for them to all look away, so I can quietly catch one (preferably the fattest) and take it away somewhere out of reach.

 

The Chase

Hmm, this is taking longer than I thought. Of course, my stupid owner is back in the garden. How am I supposed to catch a chicken now?! Oh well, I'll just have to do it while she watches. Not like she can stop me. I am too big and strong for her. And too fast! Ha!

Okay, here is my chance. The chickens all have their backs turned to me. I'm going in!

 

Wait! No! Shoot! What?! *Lots of wing flapper and clucking of chickens* NOOOOO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO GO! Why am I being chased by chickens?! It's supposed to be the other way around!! Waaaaaah! Booooossss! Save meeeee!!!!

See how the chicken got all big and poofy and cornered me?!

 

5 Minutes Later

*Panting* I guess those chickens aren't as stupid as they look. Why are you laughing?  I'm not chicken! I'll get them. One day I'll get them. Just you wait and see.

See? I am a good hunter! This is what'll happen to those chickens next time.