It's not me, it's him

In the beginning, two years ago, we were so happy together. I always had his full attention, and he wanted my opinion on everything. We talked a lot back then. After a long day at work, I couldn’t wait to see him, and he was always overjoyed that I was home again. He loved everything I served him, just because it was served by me.

But as time went by, our relationship changed. Now, I know that’s natural and it’s supposed to be a good thing. Because you can’t be in love forever, it’s physically impossible. So, in time, the ‘crazy, madly in love’ feeling evolves into a deeper feeling. A feeling that’s more stable and doesn’t cloud your judgment as much. And so, as the butterflies have slowly faded away, I cannot turn my back on the problems any longer.

At first, he started to distance himself from me. He wouldn’t be as happy when I got home as he used to, and his happy banter had become rare. The food that I prepared didn’t seem to go down so well anymore. He just shoved it into his mouth without really tasting it. Like a forklift truck. Not a pretty sight.

I had hoped that things would improve again during the summer. Summer, the time of year that’s perfect for picnics and romantic outings. Being outside and doing things together. But he wouldn’t even sit outside in the garden with me anymore. Instead, he chose to go out on his own. Without me. For hours.

And now, come fall, things haven’t gotten worse, but they certainly haven’t improved either. He’s still gone half the time, without telling me a single thing. He still eats like a forklift truck and when he comes home, he just crashes on the couch or bed and ignores me. Oh, sure, we still cuddle every once in a while. When he’s in the mood. But it’s not half as often as it used to be.

I think he’s cheating on me. I’m almost certain he’s cheating on me. He doesn’t even really try to hide it. When his buddy comes by to pick him up, he’s out the door so fast, I only see a blur. And when he comes home, early in the morning (or really late at night, depending how you look at it), he smells like perfume and smoke. And I don’t wear perfume and I certainly don’t smoke.

I don’t get it. What am I doing wrong? Is she prettier than me? More fun? Does she serve better food? I really don’t know. All I know is he’s getting fatter and fatter while I see less and less of him (which sounds like a contradiction, but you know what I mean). He’s now at a point at which I am getting seriously concerned about his weight. 

But what can I do? I mean, how do you stop a food-addicted cat from going next door and (ch)eating, without taking away the freedom his cat flap offers him? If anybody knows, please tell me.

Click here to see the (ch)eater

Why cats and computers don't mix

Cats are great pets. They keep you company when you're alone, comfort you when you're hurt or lonely and they are always ready to listen to you. Plus, they are more independent than dogs and a lot less work (no walks!). Reasons enough to make them the number one pet in Holland (and why I have two).

The downside of cats

Cute as they are, there is a downside to having cats (besides having to clean the litterbox, I mean). They always, ALWAYS want to know what you're doing and, if it doesn't involve them, they seem slightly offended and want to BE what you are doing. Doesn't matter if you're reading a book (they just lie on the book) or working on your computer (they lie on your keyboard). The latter can have some serious consequences...

For instance, with just two tiny steps of those cute paws, they can reset all your settings: change your keyboard from English to French settings for example, or make everything on your screen appear so tiny you can't even read the answer to this problem on Google.

Cats  going online

Ozzy taking a nap. On my laptop.

But walking the keyboard and re-setting settings are relatively easy to fix (yes, it may take a while, but it's fixable). Your cat could do a lot more damage. You know the computer mouse? Well, as you may know, they love to play with it (this is actually quite logical. I mean, with that name, it's almost asking for it, isn't it?). Hit it, click it, throw it off of your desk and watch it swing on its cable, hitting it some more. Now, this game could get you into some serious trouble.

A woman was surfing the web and left her computer for a bit. When she came back, she found her cat playing with the mouse. As she looked on the screen, she saw: "Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of 2 tickets to the musical We Will Rock You!" Her cat had, accidentally, purchased tickets online!** Luckily, after she explained what had happened, she didn't have to go through with the purchase, but beware: this could happen to you!

Cats put online

One of the millions of cute kitty-pics online

That's not to say that cats and online don't mix. Because that is just not true. Cats are hugely popular online! Just think of all the cute kitty pictures there are, being shared on Facebook and Pinterest. In fact, the biggest Hyves-group* is a cat-group! Over 80.000 people are in this group, just sharing pics of their cats and saying how they love them all.

And there are loads of cat-clips on Youtube, proving the online popularity of cats. Just look up 'stalking cat', or the popular cartoon 'Simon's cat' (based on a true cat!). People just can't get enough of them!

Conclusion

I think the lesson to be learned from this is that it can be a great idea to put your cat online yourself, but it can be a very bad idea to let your cat go online by itself. The first could make you money, the second could cost you money.


*Hyves is like the Dutch version of Facebook (or MySpace, if you will).
** True story. Check: http://www.poezenweide.nl/nieuws/2358.html